here I am AND I AM ON THE VERGE OF TEArs.
I had just gotten out of the shower, getting ready for bed because I HAVE MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL TOMORROW (I don’t even want to talk about it) and my mom comes upstairs to let me know that my song has finally been released on iTunes. How do you react to that?? I’ll tell you one thing, I wasn’t about to miss the opportunity to write “emotional states of releasing my first single (part 2)” right this very second. so here I am.
I don’t have the words really to say anything but gibberish right now, and as you can probably tell, I am rambling. I do know that I am very blessed, and I hope I never forget that. I hope that I never forget where I came from, who was there, who wasn’t there, and how blessed I am.
I am a very confident person most of the time. I work as hard as I can to pursue my goals. But, I also get very paranoid and I tend to overthink things. I even overthink these blog posts sometimes, because I’m scared somebody will belittle me for it. It is NOT easy writing songs from pure emotion and putting them out there for THE WHOLE WORLD to hear. I write some of these songs at 2 am when I feel like nobody understands what I am going through, but that’s what music does, it brings people together. It is so beautiful that music can be a voice for something you could never explain in any other way. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to be that voice for someone, or to be that feeling somebody knows too well. I want to be the best I can be for myself, for Jesus, and for you guys. I have an incredible group of people who support me and are honest with me every step of the way. I am also well aware of the people who are not so supportive. What I am doing is not normal, and sometimes, it’s scary. All through this process of writing I’m Gonna, working on it, recording it, and putting it out there, I have always had many fears in my mind. I always felt like I posted too much about my music, and people were going to get annoyed with me, or nobody would really like the song, but as I write this right now, all I am is happy.
I feel like I have overcome some of the stuff that used to take me down. I am in a place that has come from hard work, love, and faith. Seeing my own name on iTunes for the first time is something I will never get back. It signifies more than just a song, and I guess that’s where this blog post leads me. You can do what you want, you can follow your biggest dream ever. It takes baby steps. Some steps are smaller than others, and that’s okay. You might even take a few steps back but that’s okay, too, because it is all a process. This is for my future self, and for anyone who is reading this, never give up, I don’t care how cheesy it may sound. Your only demon is your mind, and sometimes it wins. But, “What defines us is how well we rise after falling.”
I’m so happy to say that my first single ever is now on iTunes, I hope you love it, share it & buy it:
Gotta sleep now… love,